Yes, the ogre captured us
But don't be too alarmed
He's not as scary as he seems and we have not been harmed
You see, he's vegetarian!
Whoever would have thought?
He’s put us straight to work with all the other kids he's caught
Behind his castle walls he has
Kids keeping his house clean
And kids to tend his veggie patch, the biggest ever seen
We're both in the kitchen
Where we cook the ogre's meal
(That's why this SOS is on a scrap of onion peel)
And herein lies our problem, see
The ogre's diet's strange
He only wants his onions and his tastes they never change
His breakfast’s onion porridge, then
there’s onion cake at ten
If we get out we hope to never see onions again!
The onion soup is okay
And onion stew is fine...
But onion ice-cream pudding? That is where we draw the line
The castle's good in other ways
It's warm and keeps us dry
But all this chopping onions, could make a grown man cry
Our fingers smell, our hair does too
The stench clings to our clothes
It’s like we’re walking round with sweaty socks shoved up our nose
We long to slice some aubergines!
Or bake some mushroom pies
We'd gladly peel some sprouts to have a break from weeping eyes
So know that we're alive and well
We hope this calms your fears
But please come get us soon because we're running out of tears!
Poem ©2014 Laura Louise Stewart
Illustration © 2014 Loretta Schauer