Parker MacBarker, Private Eye
And his sidekick, Smithson Yap,
Went out on a case one dark, dark night,
Trailing a bony old chap.
Creaky jaw and a rattling walk:
Bones was quite easy to track.
I know best, growled MacBarker, I'll lead.
Yap, you just stay at the back.
With spy camera ready to shoot,
Smithson Yap, in cool tartan cap,
Tiptoed behind, as soft as can be,
Tail wagging, all ready to snap.
Bones led them a merry old dance,
To a scrap yard where large dumpsters loomed:
MacBarker went in with a snarl and a grin -
Stop! barked Yap, lest ye be doomed!
But MacBarker ALWAYS knew best:
That was indisputable fact.
Smithson Yap just adjusted his cap,
And stayed back so he wouldn’t be sacked.
A skeleton leapt from a bin:
Twas Bones! – and frightened to death,
MacBarker fell senseless and limp
As he drew his last gasping breath.
So stepped to the fore Smithson Yap,
His tartan cap still on his head.
Old Bones held no terror for him!
He crunched 'em with biscuits and bread!
As he gnawed on Bones’s old bones,
The moral, said Smithson, is plain,
Knowing Best leads to false calculations
And MacBarker will not sleuth again.
Poem © Lesley Moss
Image © Heather Dickinson