Roger McAllit and Una McFlip
Were neighbours and friends to begin,
But everything changed in the whatsit one day
When Roger saw Una’s sweet grin.
The Queen’s Chief Inventor’s my role,
And it’s tough,
She asks me to do some impossible stuff.
One day she requests a bike with
Twelve foot sails,
The next, an appliance for doughnut cocktails!
If she wants to fly an airship
I’m the engineer of her zaniest schemes.
The last Chief Inventor said she
Was quite mad
He gave up and left to tend sheep with his dad!
Now folk ask me how I accept
They’ll never know why I’m putty in her hands.
My secret is simple, you may
Guess it’s this;
I’d give up my chemistry set for one kiss!
But ah, I’m no prince, a brave knight
Or rich man,
I have just my brains and my tools, and her plans
If she tells me she wants to fly
I construct an airship from canvas and string!
She wants to go diving but will
Not wear scuba,
I build her a submarine shaped like a tuna!
She longs to be taller, and have
I make robot legs that can step three miles wide!
Her wish is a pet that’s as rare
I’ll breed her a hen that lays Cadbury’s Crème Eggs!
But now, oh help me, I’m unstuck
Stumped at last
She’s given me a truly knee-trembling task.
She wants me (gee!) to (gulp) declare
How I feel?
That’s like telling me to make cars with square wheels!
Oh no, how do I say it's
L. O. V. E?
Please can you invent something to speak for me?
Poem © 2013 Laura Louise Stewart
Illustrations © 2013 John Shelley