Here are Dom's three winning poems. We love a gruesome poem on the funeverse so Dom's witchy mum preparing her son for the pot is perfect.
Good Enough To Eat
Greedy Gretchen Von Fletchen
stretched up high,
and stole a freshly-baked apple pie.
“Go on, eat up all your people."
"But I really don't feel well.
Maybe I could skip my dinner?"
"You're just faking. I can tell."
"But I HATE people for dinner!
Can't I just have beans on toast?"
"You need to eat good monster food.
Shall I do them as a roast?"
"Look how your sister cleaned her plate.
She’s only left one shoe.
Just a spoon for Mummy now.
Let's just start with one or two..."
"Open your mouth!" "Nmmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,"
"Don't you shake your head at me!"
“Ah mum, people make me queasy.
Maybe I should set them free?"
"I am done. I'm through with talking.
Eat your dinner in one bite!"
"But Mum, I just can't swallow people!"
"Why?" "It's gross and it's not right!"
"Oh, I GIVE up little monster!
Off to bed or you'll be late.
Dump the people out the back door,
But at least PLEASE eat your plate!"
Poem © 2014 Mo O'Hara
Illustration © Loretta Schauer
Mother Monster made a stew
with all your favourite things,
some earwax balls and eyeball goo,
and slimy, bogey strings.
She stirred in mould and toenail rot,
then served with maggot rolls.
You licked your lips and scoffed the lot,
but why’d you eat her bowls?!
Poem © 2014 Rebecca Colby
Illustration © Loretta Schauer
Yes, the ogre captured us
But don't be too alarmed
He's not as scary as he seems and we have not been harmed
You see, he's vegetarian!
Whoever would have thought?
He’s put us straight to work with all the other kids he's caught
Behind his castle walls he has
Kids keeping his house clean
And kids to tend his veggie patch, the biggest ever seen
We're both in the kitchen
Where we cook the ogre's meal
(That's why this SOS is on a scrap of onion peel)
And herein lies our problem, see
The ogre's diet's strange
He only wants his onions and his tastes they never change
His breakfast’s onion porridge, then
there’s onion cake at ten
If we get out we hope to never see onions again!
The onion soup is okay
And onion stew is fine...
But onion ice-cream pudding? That is where we draw the line
The castle's good in other ways
It's warm and keeps us dry
But all this chopping onions, could make a grown man cry
Our fingers smell, our hair does too
The stench clings to our clothes
It’s like we’re walking round with sweaty socks shoved up our nose
We long to slice some aubergines!
Or bake some mushroom pies
We'd gladly peel some sprouts to have a break from weeping eyes
So know that we're alive and well
We hope this calms your fears
But please come get us soon because we're running out of tears!
Poem ©2014 Laura Louise Stewart
Illustration © 2014 Loretta Schauer
This month I decided to write some Haikus. Haikus are based on a Japanese form of poetry that doesn't rhyme and follows a pattern of syllables usually;
Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables
They are usually about nature and are not normally funny...
I was quite peckish,
So I ate up all my tea.
Then burped a human.
Come here you little pudding,
My yummy scrummy cake,
Let me dig my spoon in you,
And scoff you off the plate.
Oh let me stuff your spongy fluff
Right in my chubby face.
Oh you little runaway,
You tease of a dessert,
Let me add some jam and cream
A luscious licky squirt,
Then fill my mouth from north to south,
Who’s it going to hurt?
But you’re looking at me oddly,
With your little raison eyes,
And your tiny pearly teeth,
Are somewhat a surprise,
And boy how wide your mouth goes,
I don’t want to fall inSIIIIIIIDE…….
Poem ©2014 Kathryn Evans
Illustration © 2014 Sally Kindberg
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