I’m stuck in the North Wind’s left nostril.
When the wind blows,
It sneezes me out of its nose
Into its papery breezes
And I flitter about with the leaves and the litter.
Upside down and downside up,
Just another pile of snotty rubbish
Blown from the North Wind’s nose.
© 2013 Lesley Moss
© 2013 Amanda Lillywhite
You want advice my little chum? Since I know humans better,
Stay and shelter by my side to keep from getting wetter.
No one wants a wet dog, it’s strange but true, you’ll see,
No one strokes a wet dog, or lets him on their knee.
You may be cute and fluffy now, get snuggles in the bed,
The minute you’re a wet dog you’ll be turfed outside instead!
No one wants a wet dog, they’ll chase you off the rug,
No one pets a wet dog, or gives mucky pups a hug.
Take it from a damp old dog, a moppish drooly hound,
Some say it’s like the sprinkler’s on whenever I’m around!
No one wants a wet dog, though it might seem weird to us,
No one lets a wet dog lick their hand without a fuss!
They will call you smelly, make you stay out ‘til you’re clean,
But I’m no fancy poodle who just likes to sit and preen,
I’m an always-wet-dog, and I don’t even care,
‘Cause I can make it rain indoors when I shake out my hair!
Poem © 2013 Laura Louise Stewart
Illustration © 2013 Amanda Lillywhite
Hi! Welcome to the funeverse, a poetry site packed with funny poems for kids.
Poets and tags
Poets on the funeverse
All poems and illustrations are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. unless stated otherwise.