Funny poet - Laura Louise Stewart

Laura Louise Stewart writes fiction for children and young adults and is the creator of Scribble Stew, a weekly poetry challenge. She won her first short story competition aged nine and received a couple of highly commended awards at this years' Winchester Writers' Conference. Before concentrating on fiction Laura worked as a medical writer and science journalist, which means she is very good at spelling long words, like pneumonoconiosis.

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An Introduction to me:

I live in a cottage surrounded by trees
And look after Bashful and Doc and Sneeze…
Wait, no I don’t. That doesn’t sound right
I think I am talking about Snow White!

I can swim like a fish, or so I’ve been told
I’ve battled the Sea Witch and seen Neptune’s gold
I’ve ridden the back of a friendly whale
(Oops, isn’t that The Little Mermaid’s tale?)

I’m so good at hiding I could be a spy
No villain’s a match for my eagle-eye
My left hook is lethal, I’m a cracking shot
(Or is that James Bond, I might have forgot!)

I can twirl on the very tips of my toes
And bend up my leg to touch on my nose
Perhaps in another life I’d have been a
Dancing mouse-girl like sweet Angelina.

I’ve run round the world from New York to Greece
And I’ve got the secret to lasting world peace
OK, you caught me, this may not be true..
But ideas for stories I’ve sure got a few!

p.s. Five of the lines above are actually true. Can you guess which ones?