Why Oscar Doesn’t Get Invited To Parties
By Jonathan Humble
Upon his peers aged five and six,
Young naughty Oscar played some tricks.
At birthday parties his main aim,
Once fun began with party games,
Was distributing spoons of jelly
In the hair, down necks and bellies
Of the party congregation,
Causing wails of protestation.
And if there were distracted mums,
Whilst at the parties of his chums,
He’d mix the meat paste with the trifle;
Giving every child an eyeful.
So one will not be too surprised
When Oscar was then ostracized.
Aged seven he became aware
That invitations were quite rare.
He wasn’t asked to parties much,
As parents were not keen as such
To add him to the party list,
On which his name was often missed.
So Oscar thought that it was time
To curb behaviour out of line,
Reforming all his naughty ways,
Until aged eight he reached the days
When folk would not have found it strange
To comment on how much he’d changed.
Once more he joined the party scene
Of jelly, trifle and ice cream.
And nicely now he played the games
To mums’ delight and much acclaim,
Until some child during dessert
Spilt juice down Oscar’s party shirt ...
And in a flash there re-emerged
That naughty lad; the party scourge!
As birthday cake flew through the air,
With pickled onions everywhere.
And flinging stuff about the place,
A manic grin upon his face,
The lad reverted gleefully,
The evidence for all to see.
This verse reveals a painful truth,
That Oscar simply was uncouth.
'Though self-improvement’s overdue,
To thine own self one must be true,
One mustn’t tie oneself in knots;
A leopard cannot change its spots.
Jion is an author-illustrator originally from Brighton but now living in Paris. When she's not drawing or writing, she runs her own English language schools for kids. She is also Mum to two lovely little children, Oscar and Stella.