The funeverse! A poetry site for kids who love funny poems.
  • funny verse
  • Get Involved
  • the poets
  • Contact

The Remarkable Friendship of Scratchy McGrowl and Ava VanPowell  by Mo O'Hara

29/4/2015

2 Comments

 
Scratchy McGrowl spent his nights on the prowl
stalking the yards without care.

While Ava VanPowell plotted murder most foul
for her books, at her desk by the stair.

So Scratchy would fight and Ava would write
til the sky would near break with the dawn.

Ava opened the sash and in Scratchy would dash
and they'd both greet the day with a yawn.

They would put on their slippers and breakfast on kippers
and chat about scraps, plots and muddles.

Then ‘neath duvets they’d lay, tucking in for the day
and drift  off to sleep in a cuddle.



© Mo O'Hara 2015
2 Comments

Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog by Kathryn Evans

3/3/2015

6 Comments

 
Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog,
Were two foolish friends on a walk in the fog.
Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog,
Took their walk in the wood with a poorly trained dog.
Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog,
While walking that dog through the wood in the fog,
Failed to observe several signs for a bog.
Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog,
Lost control of the dog who took off at a jog.
Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog,
While chasing their poorly trained dog through the bog,
Were observed by an odd looking toothy mouthed frog,
That lay still in the sog,  looking just like a log.
What disaster lurked there in that bog in the fog,
For Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog?!
They lurched through the sog, calling out for the dog,
All the while being watched by that froggy-ish  log,
But then they got stuck in that foul smelling bog
And down they were sucked, right into the sog.
Poor Lucinda Belinda and Harriet Hog,
They should never have ventured about in the fog,
They should have held onto that poorly trained dog,
And properly read all those signs for the bog.
And if only they’d known that a toothy mouthed frog
That lies fairly still and looks just like a log,
And turns with a gleam of its wide toothy smile,
Is more likely to be…

A bog crocodile.

Poem © 2015 Kathryn Evans 
Image © 2015 Heather Dickinson   
A dog in the fog poem from the funeverse
6 Comments

The Dog Ate My Homework by Katherine Lynas

11/1/2015

1 Comment

 
The Dog Ate My Homework
Rover ate my homework, Miss,
I swear he really did,
Don't look at me like that, Miss,
I'm just a little kid.
My work fell in the jam, Miss,
I tried to wipe it off,
But it just spread around, Miss,
And Rover likes to scoff.
I thought I'd squirt some juice, Miss,
To wash the jam away,
But it got rather damp, Miss,
When covered all in spray.
I hung it on the line, Miss,
To try and dry it out,
Rover sniffed the stink, Miss,
With his wet and hairy snout.
Up he jumped and grabbed it, Miss,
There was nothing I could do,
He chewed and ate it up, Miss,
I swear to you it's true.

Poem © 2015 Katherine Lynas
1 Comment

TEACHER'S FAVOURITE by Rebecca Colby

4/12/2014

3 Comments

 
Picture
I am the teacher’s favourite;
I know she loves me best.
And every day to prove it,
I put her to the test, 

by racing ‘round the classroom,
by dashing down the stairs,
by tipping over paint pots,
by jumping on her chairs,

by hardly ever listening,
by playing with my ball,
by chewing up her homework,
by howling in the hall.

I never get in trouble,
despite how bad I get.
In case you haven’t guessed yet,
I am the teacher’s pet! 

Poem © 2014 Rebecca Colby
Image  © 2014 Heather Dickinson

3 Comments

The Unexpected Fate Of Parker MacBarker, Who Knew Best - by Lesley Moss

17/10/2014

0 Comments

 
PictureImage: Heather Dickinson (adapted from original colour illustration)

Parker MacBarker, Private Eye
And his sidekick, Smithson Yap,
Went out on a case one dark, dark night,
Trailing a bony old chap.

Creaky jaw and a rattling walk:
Bones was quite easy to track.
I know best, growled MacBarker, I'll lead.
Yap, you just stay at the back.

With spy camera ready to shoot,
Smithson Yap, in cool tartan cap,
Tiptoed behind, as soft as can be,
Tail wagging, all ready to snap.



Bones led them a merry old dance,
To a scrap yard where large dumpsters loomed:
MacBarker went in with a snarl and a grin -
Stop! barked Yap, lest ye be doomed!

But MacBarker ALWAYS knew best:
That was indisputable fact.
Smithson Yap just adjusted his cap,
And stayed back so he wouldn’t be sacked.

A skeleton leapt from a bin:
Twas Bones! – and frightened to death,
MacBarker fell senseless and limp
As he drew his last gasping breath.

So stepped to the fore Smithson Yap,
His tartan cap still on his head.
Old Bones held no terror for him!
He crunched 'em with biscuits and bread!

As he gnawed on Bones’s old bones,
The moral, said Smithson, is plain,
Knowing Best leads to false calculations
And MacBarker will not sleuth again.

Poem © Lesley Moss
Image © Heather Dickinson


0 Comments

'Tum'-brella by Meagan Munroe

12/9/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Oh, hello there. How do you do?
I hope that you don't mind.
You see it's raining heavily
and I've left my mac behind.

So if you please, just stand right here
and be a helpful fella.
I'm happy staying warm and dry
beneath your big 'tum'-brella.

Poem ©2013 Meagan Munroe
Illustration © 2013 Amanda Lillywhite
0 Comments

Wet Dog! by Laura Louise Stewart

2/9/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
You want advice my little chum? Since I know humans better,
Stay and shelter by my side to keep from getting wetter.
No one wants a wet dog, it’s strange but true, you’ll see,
No one strokes a wet dog, or lets him on their knee.

You may be cute and fluffy now, get snuggles in the bed,
The minute you’re a wet dog you’ll be turfed outside instead!
No one wants a wet dog, they’ll chase you off the rug,
No one pets a wet dog, or gives mucky pups a hug.

Take it from a damp old dog, a moppish drooly hound,
Some say it’s like the sprinkler’s on whenever I’m around!
No one wants a wet dog, though it might seem weird to us,
No one lets a wet dog lick their hand without a fuss!

They will call you smelly, make you stay out ‘til you’re clean,
But I’m no fancy poodle who just likes to sit and preen,
I’m an always-wet-dog, and I don’t even care,
‘Cause I can make it rain indoors when I shake out my hair!


Poem © 2013 Laura Louise Stewart
Illustration © 2013 Amanda Lillywhite 


2 Comments

    KIDS!
    We would absolutely
    LOVE IT
    if you added your own funny poems in the comments.
    ​Especially if you are 
    A CHILD
    ​WITH A FUNNYBONE!

    This month
    we're being inspired by
    JAMIE LITTLER!
    Picture
    Fab illustrator of funny fiction!
    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Read our
    Privacy Policy

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Poets and tags

    All
    Alex Craggs
    Amanda Hall
    Amanda Lillywhite
    Bridget Strevens Marzo
    Candy Gourlay
    Chris Riddell
    Dom Conlon
    Em Lynas
    Eric Heyman
    Funny Poems
    George Kirk
    Heather Dickinson
    Heather Kilgour
    Jamie Littler
    Janet Foxley
    Jion Sheibani
    Jo Dearden
    John Shelley
    Jonny Duddle
    Jools Wilson
    Julie Anna Douglas
    Kate Pankhurst
    Katherine Lynas (ill)
    Katherine Lynas (poet)
    Kathryn Evans
    Laura Stewart
    Laurence Anholt
    Laurence Arnholt
    Lesley Moss
    Loretta Schauer
    Marek Jagucki
    Meagan Munroe
    Mike Brownlow
    Mo Ohara
    Nick Butterworth
    Paul Morton
    Rebecca Colby
    Rikin Parekh
    Sally Kindberg
    Sam Zuppardi
    Sarah McIntyre
    Steven Henry
    Tag Animals
    Tag Art
    Tag Bedtime
    Tag Birds
    Tag Cats
    Tag Creatures
    Tag-dancing
    Tag Dogs
    Tag Fairy Tales
    Tag Families
    Tag Food
    Tag-foxes
    Tag-frogs
    Tag-grannies
    Tag Hairdressers
    Tag Hamsters
    Tag Hats
    Tag Kids
    Tag Love
    Tag Machines
    Tag Monkeys
    Tag Monsters
    Tag Music
    Tag-music
    Tag-pirates
    Tag-pirates
    Tag-rabbits
    Tag-robots
    Tag-robots
    Tag-scary-stuff
    Tag-scary-stuff
    Tag School
    Tag-snot
    Tag-snot
    Tag-spooky-stuff
    Tag The Weather
    Tag-the-weather
    Tag-whales
    Tag Witches Wizards
    Tag-wolves
    Tag-wolves
    Ukulele
    Yuval Zommer

    Archives

    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    November 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012




Welcome 

blog

funny verse

funeverse guests

Sam Zuppardi
Kate Pankhurst
John Shelley
Mike Brownlow
Bridget Strevens-Marzo
Paul Morton

Amanda Lillywhite
Amanda Hall
Sally Kindberg
Loretta Schauer
Heather Dickinson
Rikin Parekh
Katherine Lynas
Candy Gourlay
HeatherKilgour
J​ion Sheibani 
Chris Riddell
​
Jonny Duddle
Sarah McIntyre


Poets on the funeverse

Em Lynas
Lesley Moss
Laura Lou Stewart
Alex Craggs
Mo O'Hara
George Kirk
Rebecca Colby
Meagan Munroe
Katherine Lynas
Kathryn Evans

Dom Conlon
Jo Dearden
PRIVACY POICY
All poems and illustrations are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. unless stated otherwise. 
Proudly powered by Weebly