Dear Miss, I have not handed in my homework this week. Why? It's complicated ... by Lesley Moss7/12/2015 “Go on, eat up all your people."
"But I really don't feel well. Maybe I could skip my dinner?" "You're just faking. I can tell." "But I HATE people for dinner! Can't I just have beans on toast?" "You need to eat good monster food. Shall I do them as a roast?" "Look how your sister cleaned her plate. She’s only left one shoe. Just a spoon for Mummy now. Let's just start with one or two..." "Open your mouth!" "Nmmm, mmm, mmm, mmm," "Don't you shake your head at me!" “Ah mum, people make me queasy. Maybe I should set them free?" "I am done. I'm through with talking. Eat your dinner in one bite!" "But Mum, I just can't swallow people!" "Why?" "It's gross and it's not right!" "Oh, I GIVE up little monster! Off to bed or you'll be late. Dump the people out the back door, But at least PLEASE eat your plate!" Poem © 2014 Mo O'Hara Illustration © Loretta Schauer MONSTER STEW Mother Monster made a stew with all your favourite things, some earwax balls and eyeball goo, and slimy, bogey strings. She stirred in mould and toenail rot, then served with maggot rolls. You licked your lips and scoffed the lot, but why’d you eat her bowls?! Poem © 2014 Rebecca Colby Illustration © Loretta Schauer “Leave the prince speechless,” I heard you declare. “Please make him notice my eyes and gold hair. Give him a reason to gaze on my face. Make me stand out from the rest in this place.” Granting your wishes was no easy task. And now you complain? How dare you, I ask! Go on and moan that you look like monster. But Cinderella, my dear, you get what you ask for! Poem © 2014 Rebecca Colby Illustration © 2013 Sally Kindberg Ever seen a vampire bat that flashed a sharp-toothed smile?
Or some slimy water goblins ride a crocodile? I have... Perhaps you saw an ogre eating gravy-covered toes? Or looked up at the sky and saw some glowing UFOs? I did... How about some phantom lions in a creepy zoo? I can see these spooks and more, and guess what? You can too! Here’s how... Think of, let’s say, a haunted house, and with your mind explore it Now all that scary stuff you see, just take a pen and draw it! In Nightmare Town there is a street,
They call it Dark, and in Dark Street there is one house, a scary house, and I have been inside it. And upstairs there's a gloomy room, a room of everlasting doom and there's a cupboard in that room, and I have stood beside it: so sinister, so full of mean - (Shh, they may hear us whispering) - green monstrous creatures, cupboard trolls, and I have peeped inside it. And there the mouldy cupboard folks dwell inbetween the hats and cloaks. The monsters wait behind the door and I have stepped inside it ... The monsters made me Monster Queen though I am clean and they are green, Now in the cupboard I reside and we all hide inside it. In Nightmare Town there is a street they call it Dark, and in Dark Street there is one house, a scary house - why don't YOU step inside it ...? Poem © 2014 Lesley Moss Illustration © 2014 Sally Kindberg
Thank you so much for being on the funEverse, Addy.
My mother’s reading Monster Tree with Benjamin upon her knee, and she is just ignoring me. I sneak up, creep up, quietly, And hide behind the blue settee, But she is still ignoring me. When I am sure that she won’t see, I drop a worm into her tea. Perhaps she’ll stop ignoring me. As Mother shrieks, I start to flee. I’ve never seen her this angry. At last, she stopped ignoring me. “That was naughty, Barnaby! No food for you and no TV!” Too bad she’s not ignoring me. Poem ©2012 Rebecca Colby Image ©2012 Kate Pankhurst
Mirror, mirror in my hand who’s the scariest in the land? It’s me! It’s me! Peek in your closet you’ll know it’s me! Three eyes in my monstrous head help me watch you in your bed. There’s really nothing you can do I’m going to put you in my stew! Mirror, mirror in my hand who’s the hungriest in the land? It’s me! It’s me! When my tummy roars you’ll know it’s me! Shaggy fur the colour of slime, full of fleas and bogey grime. I’ve not showered in 10 weeks, I prefer it when I reek. Mirror, mirror in my hand who’s the stinkiest in the land? It’s me! It’s me! Take a deep breath in (phew!) you’ll know it’s me! Wait! Why have you run away! I was hoping we could play. Now that you’re afraid of me, I feel lonely as can be. Mirror, mirror in my hand who’s the saddest in the land? It’s me! It’s me! See the tears falling you’ll know it’s me! Even monsters need hugs too, so I’ll tell you what to do. Hold your nose and wear thick gloves, open your arms, share some love. Mirror, mirror in my hand who’s the cuddliest in the land? It’s me! It’s me! Give me a hug you’ll know it’s me and you’ll make me happy as can be! Poem ©2013 Meagan Munroe Image ©2013 Kate Pankhurst
One, two, three, four,
Five, six, seven… ROAR! You try it now. Don't be a drip. I'll count you in, Just let it rip. I'm a scary monster and I don't care! I've got green teeth and bristly hair. I'm a scary monster and I don't care! I've got three eyes and my ears are square. I'm a scary monster and I don't care if my nasty smell pollutes the air! I'm a scary monster and I don't care! Cos I'm really mean and I don't play fair. I'm a scary monster and I don't care! I roar and growl and I won't share. I'm a scary monster and I don't care if you won't be my friend - yes, you - over there. Wait - you're ... an even bigger, scarier monster? Well now I care! Image ©2012 Kate Pankhurst Poem © 2012 Lesley Moss The stars are shining in the sky The moon is looking down On top of monster mountain You cannot hear a sound So put aside your worries Chase the beasties from your head Even little monsters Have to go to bed Inside the rocky monster dens Baths are being run To wash away a busy day Of mucky monster fun Time to clean those monster teeth Brush cobwebs off their heads Even little monsters Have to go to bed Mummy's in her dressing gown Trying not to doze Daddy's got his slippers on To hide his hairy toes Tails tucked into PJs Cosy nightcaps on their heads Even little monsters Have to go to bed Outside the wind is howling Not a single monster roars They're snug inside the blanket caves The darkness shut outdoors Come listen to your bedtime tale Let stories fill your head Even little monsters Have to go to bed Poem ©2013 Laura Lou Stewart Image ©2013 Kate Pankhurst If you want to look your best, Try some Monster Mum advice, Take a daily bath in slime And dust your fur with tiny lice. Oh yes, that’s lovely, really nice, And quite the thing, that touch of lice. Add just a touch of make up Crushed beetle to your cheek, Dustbin dribble on your lashes And a squirt of Eau De Reek. Oh yes, that’s lovely, quite unique, And just the thing, that whiff of Reek. Now come and sit upon my knee, Let’s have a monster hug, You scruffy, stinky, lovely beast, My gorgeous cuddle bug. Poem ©2013 Kathryn Evans Image ©2013 Kate Pankhurst
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KIDS!
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