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Fish by Katherine Lynas

16/2/2017

0 Comments

 
See this fish in my pocket?
Isn't it fine?
Bet you wish it was yours,
​But it isn't,
It's mine.

Poem © 2017 
Katherine Lynas
Illustration ©2017 Nick Butterworth
Picture
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Toilet Time by Katherine Lynas

27/10/2016

1 Comment

 
Wee, poo, pee, plop,
I need the loo, or else I'll pop!

Do you know where I can find
A place to rest my soft behind?
I'm very fussy, that is true,
Not just any place will do.
Illustration © 2016 Steven Henry
Illustration © 2016 Steven Henry

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Norsemen by Katherine Lynas

6/9/2016

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Picture
Early this morning,
The Norsemen came calling,
In ships from over the sea.
​

They're here for my treasure,
But I like my leisure,
​They can wait till I've finished my tea.

Poem ©2016 Katherine Lynas
Illustrations ©2016 Sarah McIntyre



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Why Won't You Let Me Play? by Katherine Lynas

15/8/2016

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Is it because I look different to you? 
Or is it because I'm not sweet?
Is it because I've a ring through my nose? 
Or because I have hooves and not feet? 
 ​
​Is it because of my long pointy horns?
Or because of my big furry head?
Is it because I wear skulls on my tail?
Or because I have skin like the dead?
Illustration © 2016 Jonny Duddle on the funeverse
Illustration © 2016 Jonny Duddle

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Making Friends with Fish by Katherine Lynas

25/3/2016

1 Comment

 
Parrot fish, angel fish,
Jellyfish, and clam,
Panic when they see me,
They swim away, they scram.
Picture

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Dinner Time by Katherine Lynas

18/1/2016

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It's dinner time, it's dinner time!
And on a human I must dine.
My empty tummy I must fill,
So I have found a boy to kill,
But boys are tricksy, boys are quick,
Boys can give a nasty kick.
Monster poem from Katherine Lynas

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To the Rescue! by Katherine Lynas

9/10/2015

 
When Molly's bitten by a flea,
When Molly falls and bangs her knee,
When Molly loses squishy bear,
When Molly tangles all her hair,
To the rescue, Super Brother!
funny poem about brothers

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Who Lives in a House Like This by Katherine Lynas

28/8/2015

1 Comment

 
Who really lives in a house like this,
Is it a Mr or is it a Miss?

Is it a princess, with golden hair, 
Or is it a home to a grizzly bear? ​
Picture

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Drawing by Katherine Lynas

18/3/2015

6 Comments

 
Susie Scrawler drew and drew,      
She found she couldn't stop.          
Then one day her hand turned blue,   
Her wrist began to flop.  ​

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The Dog Ate My Homework by Katherine Lynas

11/1/2015

1 Comment

 
The Dog Ate My Homework
Rover ate my homework, Miss,
I swear he really did,
Don't look at me like that, Miss,
I'm just a little kid.
My work fell in the jam, Miss,
I tried to wipe it off,
But it just spread around, Miss,
And Rover likes to scoff.
I thought I'd squirt some juice, Miss,
To wash the jam away,
But it got rather damp, Miss,
When covered all in spray.
I hung it on the line, Miss,
To try and dry it out,
Rover sniffed the stink, Miss,
With his wet and hairy snout.
Up he jumped and grabbed it, Miss,
There was nothing I could do,
He chewed and ate it up, Miss,
I swear to you it's true.

Poem © 2015 Katherine Lynas
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Into the Cauldron by Katherine Lynas

20/10/2014

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Into the cauldron, bits of bat,
I'll brew me up a witch’s cat.

No lazy barking dog for me,
A cat will fill this witch with glee!
A cat that catches tasty frogs,
That hop and splash around in bogs.

Into the cauldron little gnat,
I'll brew me up a witch’s cat.

On my broomstick, he will lie, 
As we go flying through the sky.
Holding tight with sharpened claws, 
He'll snap at insects with his jaws

Into the cauldron, tail of rat,
I'll brew me up a witch’s cat.

We'll stay up late into the night,
Casting spells that cause a fright.  
And when you've tired of all of that,
You can sleep in my old hat.

In the cauldron, something's funny,
Should my potion be this runny?

Forgot to add a mongoose hair, 
Thick green smoke now fills the air.
It’s a cat-astrophic flop,
I’ve created gooey slop!
Picture
Poem © 2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © Heather Dickinson
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New Boots by Katherine Lynas

8/7/2014

1 Comment

 
funny poem new boots
From Soles the shoe shop I collected,
Boots I lovingly selected.      
                   
I carefully unwrapped their box,     
And pulled them over stripy socks.   
 
They would not walk upon the floor,          
But started climbing up the door.     
          
Then headed off across the ceiling,               
Giving me a sickly feeling.   

Suddenly they jumped down hard,
And sprinted off into the yard.

Then out the gate and down the track,
I don’t think I am coming back.

Poem ©2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © 2014 Sam Zuppardi

1 Comment

Ha Ha Haikus by Katherine Lynas

4/5/2014

1 Comment

 
This month I decided to write some Haikus. Haikus are based on a Japanese form of poetry that doesn't rhyme and follows a pattern of syllables usually;

Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables

They are usually about nature and are not normally funny...


One pea each for tea.
Their bellies rumble loudly.
I have secret cake.
Picture

Granny's feeling mad.
So you better watch out Wolf,
For her rolling pin.
Picture
Tears fall down our cheeks,
But smiles are on our faces.
Onion soup for lunch!
Picture

Picture
The humans must know
I don't want to eat them but
If I don't she will.

I was quite peckish,
So I ate up all my tea.
Then burped a human.
Picture
Poem ©2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © 2014 Loretta Schauer
1 Comment

Never Ever Insult a Pirate by Katherine Lynas

7/3/2014

3 Comments

 
You're a lily-livered landlubber,
A poxy-faced buffoon.
Your armpits smell like rancid cod,
Your face looks like a prune.

You're a rusty-bladed buccaneer,
Who only drinks stale grog.
Your wooden leg has woodworm,
You weevil eating dog.

You're a parrot-lovin' jellyfish,
A lice-infested slob.
There is no need to spill my guts,
You rotter, Scurvy Bob!

Poem ©2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © 2014 Sally Kindberg
Picture
3 Comments

Watch Out! by Katherine Lynas

14/1/2014

2 Comments

 
There's a tiger in the jungle,
I'd better take care.
There's a tiger in the jungle,
I've seen him in there.
There's a tiger in the jungle,
Who wants to eat me up.
There's a tiger in the jungle,
That's out of luck!
Picture
Poem ©2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © 2014 Amanda Hall
2 Comments

STOP IT! by Katherine Lynas

30/9/2013

0 Comments

 
Someone keeps putting these things in my way.
It's causing me problems, 
I just have to say,
STOP IT please Someone,
Please put things away,
For I am the one that always must pay.

I've a bruise on my bottom,
A scab on my knee,
A scratch on my forearm,
Oh please can't you see,
That I'm bruised and I'm battered,
I'm blue and I'm black.
My head is all swollen
From when it went CRACK!

So STOP IT please Someone,
Please put things away,
Or I will get angry and ruin your day!

Poem ©2013Katherine Lynas
Illustration ©2013Amanda Lillywhite
Picture
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Scary Monster by Katherine Lynas

5/1/2013

5 Comments

 
You're not a scary monster.
Your fur is soft and shiny,
And your claws are really tiny.

I am.

You're not a scary monster.
Your eyes are round and pretty,
You remind me of a kitty.

I am.

You're not a scary monster.
Your smile is bright and gleaming,
You will never see me screaming.

I am!

You're not a scary monster.
Your teeth are white...
And pointy...

Gobble.

I am.

Poem ©2013 Katherine Lynas
Image ©2013 Kate Pankhurst
Picture
5 Comments

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