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Flat Cat, by Lesley Moss

11/5/2018

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Poem and Illustration ©Lesley Moss

Picture
Inky is my paper pet ...

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Queen Cat by Kathryn Evans

14/8/2015

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I would come in but I can see,
This may not be the house for me.
I know I look like any cat,
But I’m a Queen, you must know that.
I need comfort, hands to pander,
funny poem about cats on the funeverse

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The Empty House by Lesley Moss

17/7/2015

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There’s an old empty house in the woods,
in the woods there’s an old empty house.
Nobody goes there, nobody knows

what it gets up to, now nobody goes
there.
It sleeps in the sun, maybe scratches its nose,
it sags in the middle and twiddles its toes,
witch's cat poem

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The Witch's Cats by Mo O'Hara

27/10/2014

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The witch's cat, the one that's black,
slinked and slunk around the vat.
She glided sleekly on the broom
in loop de loops around the room.
Picture

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Into the Cauldron by Katherine Lynas

20/10/2014

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Into the cauldron, bits of bat,
I'll brew me up a witch’s cat.

No lazy barking dog for me,
A cat will fill this witch with glee!
A cat that catches tasty frogs,
That hop and splash around in bogs.

Into the cauldron little gnat,
I'll brew me up a witch’s cat.

On my broomstick, he will lie, 
As we go flying through the sky.
Holding tight with sharpened claws, 
He'll snap at insects with his jaws

Into the cauldron, tail of rat,
I'll brew me up a witch’s cat.

We'll stay up late into the night,
Casting spells that cause a fright.  
And when you've tired of all of that,
You can sleep in my old hat.

In the cauldron, something's funny,
Should my potion be this runny?

Forgot to add a mongoose hair, 
Thick green smoke now fills the air.
It’s a cat-astrophic flop,
I’ve created gooey slop!
Picture
Poem © 2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © Heather Dickinson
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Juggling Tips by Rebecca Colby

13/10/2014

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Picture
JUGGLING TIPS

Don’t try to juggle bouncy balls,
for balls are small, they slide and fall.
They spring across the floors and walls.
It’s much too hard to juggle balls.

And best beware of juggling plates,
for plates aren’t great—they oscillate.
They spin. They drop. They always break!
You’ll soon crack up when juggling plates.

And never try to juggle bags,
for beanie bags are soft; they sag.
They slip. They drag. They’re hard to snag.
You’ll tire and flag while juggling bags.

If you must juggle, take my tip:
the object that is best to grip,
oozes slime too thick to slip.
Just grab some FROGS and watch them flip!  

Poem © 2014 Rebecca Colby
Illustration © Heather Dickinson

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Hanging Around by Meagan Munroe

1/10/2014

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Kitty made me do it.
She said let's climb a tree.
Sadly we've been hanging here,
since quarter after three.
Picture

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I AM LION! by Rebecca Colby

18/7/2014

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funny poem rabbits
I AM LION!
(a parody of Helen Reddy’s song “I Am Woman”)

I am lion, hear me roar,
Don’t call me 'bunnykins' any more
For I’m not your cute and furry little friend.
If you look here underneath, 
Then you’ll see my vicious teeth. 
This cuddly-wuddly talk has finally got to end! 

Yes, I look soft,
But I’m harder than you know.
Yes, I am small,
But it’s only ‘til I grow.
If I want to
I can be anything.
I am fierce.
I am unhuggable.
I am lion! 

Call me ‘good’ and I get badder, 
Call me ‘sweet’ and I get madder,
Call me ‘rabbit’ and then watch me lose control.
Though your words they sometimes shame me,
They’re just names--they’ll never tame me.
I’m a lion deep inside my fluffy soul!

Yes, I look soft,
But I’m harder than you know.
Yes, I am small,
But it’s only ‘til I grow.
If I want to
I can be anything.
I am fierce.
I am unhuggable.
I am lion! 
I am lion!
I am lion! 

RAR!!!

Poem © 2014 Rebecca Colby
Illustration © Sam Zuppardi
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Cat Haters Beware! by Meagan Munroe

21/3/2014

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Our next door neighbor, Ramona B. Slater
was a miserable gal, a real cat hater.

She would sour their milk and yank their tails
or tug on their whiskers to make them wail.

​
Picture

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Big Stripy Taxi, by Lesley Moss

26/1/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
Image: Amanda Hall
The morning that Mum called a taxi,
she made a humongous mistake.
For instead of a black shiny smart London cab,
a tiger turned up at our gate. 

Mum was too busy to notice
that the taxi was covered in stripes.
When we climbed on board, it raced and it roared
down the road with the buses and bikes.

When the tiger turned right at the station,
the town clock was just striking noon.
The tiger's tail flicked as the meter tick-ticked
then it vroom-vroomed right over The Moon.

The road seemed to vanish beneath us,
the scenery turned to a blur. 
The fare kept on rising, which wasn’t surprising
for a taxi all covered in fur.

We screeched to a halt in The Jungle,
there were parrots and monkeys and all.
'Drive back up to town,' Mum snapped with a frown,
'This is a WILD shopping mall.'

The tiger did NOT take this kindly.
‘That will cost you an arm and a leg!’
So we made no more fuss but just flagged down a bus,
and chugged home on four wheels instead.

Words © Lesley Moss 2014
Illustration © Amanda Hall







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Watch Out! by Katherine Lynas

14/1/2014

3 Comments

 
There's a tiger in the jungle,
I'd better take care.
There's a tiger in the jungle,
I've seen him in there.
There's a tiger in the jungle,
Who wants to eat me up.
There's a tiger in the jungle,
That's out of luck!
Picture
Poem ©2014 Katherine Lynas
Illustration © 2014 Amanda Hall
3 Comments

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Sam Zuppardi
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John Shelley
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Amanda Hall
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Rikin Parekh
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HeatherKilgour
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Poets on the funeverse

Em Lynas
Lesley Moss
Laura Lou Stewart
Alex Craggs
Mo O'Hara
George Kirk
Rebecca Colby
Meagan Munroe
Katherine Lynas
Kathryn Evans

Dom Conlon
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