Funny Poem ©2018 Jo Dearden
Illustration ©2018 Laurence Anholt
Anholt's Artists Frances Lincoln Ltd
Free speech, free will, free choice, free love…
Poem © 2017 Jo Dearden |
Poem ©2017 Jo Dearden
Illustration ©2017 Eric Heyman
Forget Pusheen and Grumpy Cat The Sharp Claw Crew is where it’s at...
| Jack McGill’s has thrills ’n’ spills for every boy and girl So if you want to play come and spend the day at the best toyshop in the world There’s… hoops with sticks, and lost magic tricks and spooky crystal balls Doves and cats and rabbits in hats and masks that hang from the walls |  |
Nathaniel Pott’s Emporium
has toys and games galorium
stacked ceiling high to floorium
You won’t believe your eyes!
With treasures to explorium
such pleasures lie in storium
we’re sure that you’ll adorium
Why don’t you step inside…
has toys and games galorium
stacked ceiling high to floorium
You won’t believe your eyes!
With treasures to explorium
such pleasures lie in storium
we’re sure that you’ll adorium
Why don’t you step inside…
Illustration © 2017 Nick Butterworth
| Our Dad was on a mission to get the housework done He said he’d do a proper job… …much better than our Mum He chose his weapons wisely Some Cif and Toilet Duck They’d come in very handy for a one man war on muck He fought the fusty front room with a cloud of scented spray And ran around in just his vest and yelled, “Yippee Ki Yay!” |  |
| Once a year, on All Saint's Eve the witches all convene to throw the strangest party that the world has ever seen They take their cauldrons off the boil They hang up cloaks and hats Then show each other YouTube clips of durpy dancing cats |  Illustration © 2016 Steven Henry |
| I’m the leader of the space race. I’m a primate in his prime. I’m taking one small step for me, one giant leap for chimpkind. |  Illustration © 2016 Jonny Duddle |
| Might shave my head, might pierce my nose It’s no big deal – skin heals, hair grows Sitting pretty seems absurd I think I should be seen AND heard |  Illustration © 2016 Chris Riddell |
| Perhaps you didn’t hear me or maybe you forgot But I’m not the Onion Fairy I’m the Lady of Shallot Shallots are small and round and sweet (folk say I’m good enough to eat) |  Illustration © 2016 Chris Riddell |
| Sleep beneath the moon tree and rest your weary head with fallen leaves for blankets and soft moss for your bed |  |
| Have you seen this creature? He might be after you He's fast and fierce and on the loose He's pretty hungry too. |  |
| I don’t have a wand – I don’t sparkle And I won’t swap a coin for your tooth I’m always suspicious of granting three wishes OK. Here it comes. Here’s the truth. |  |
| We all loved the fact that Jo submitted not one but THREE poems in response to Katherine Lynas's images. That was above and beyond our requirements but showed that she was willing to go the extra mile to join the funeverse. How could we resist? |  |
Slugs and snails
| I really don’t think you should eat me I’m stringy and gristly and tough You said it yourself when you saw me I’m scrawny – I’m ‘not fat enough’ |  |
KIDS!
We would absolutely
LOVE IT
if you added your own funny poems in the comments.
Especially if you are
A CHILD
WITH A FUNNYBONE!
Fab illustrator of funny fiction!
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