 I love flowers but they don't love me... Poem © Dom Conlon. |
| Be at peace my quick-fist man and put away your gun Stand at ease my sharp-tongue boy and watch the setting sun |  Illustration © 2017 Eric Heyman |
| I thought I’d woken up at dawn but apparently I’d just been born. I’d only planned to walk and eat as I waddled off on tiny feet. I slipped, I slid, and then I fell and looking back I saw my shell all broken up upon my nest and then I knew I’d never rest until I fixed it up again. |  Illustration © 2017 Nick Butterworth |
| I’m not the type to whinge or whine but I’ve no fish upon my line. |  Illustration © 2016 Steven Henry |
| I saw the Queen in an old sweet shop, As I sucked a cola drop. To me she looked so soft and sallow - A sort of tasty, plump marshmallow. I said “dear Ma’am, you’re fluffy-white, I think I’d rather like a bite. (I’m sure I saw the Queen recoil in her dress of silver foil). |  Illustration © 2016 Sarah McIntyre |
| I dinnae like the countryside I cannae stand the trees, An’ when I meet a person here He stops an’ stares an’ flees. |  Illustration © 2016 Jonny Duddle |
| If you've lost a shadow, sir, Just come and visit me. I pick up all the broken ones While sitting by the sea. |  Illustration © 2016 Chris Riddell |
| The Dodocat was never here, it could not overcome the fear of being heard or being seen. It was not sure, it was not keen to live a life like you and I- it did not even want to try... |  Illustration © 2016 Chris Riddell |
| There might be ghosts in spooky fogs. There might be snarling, snapping dogs. If I am brave, I’ll be ok. There might be witches on the breeze. There might be spiders in the trees. |  |
| So you wore purple, I wore pink, Should we care what others think? Should we care if people stare, Or if they tease and pull our hair? |  |
My darling little sister, Liz,
drank some fizz and caused a tizz
upon my birthday with us all
and now we wish that she would fall.
Woo hoo! Dom Conlon is our latest recruit to the funeverse. We all agreed that he will make a fantastically funny addition to the team and can't wait to see what silliness he comes up with. |  |
Here are Dom's three winning poems. We love a gruesome poem on the funeverse so Dom's witchy mum preparing her son for the pot is perfect.
Good Enough To Eat
| You’re at your best when you are young His mother said to Pete. I’ve looked at you since you were born But now it’s time to eat. |  |
KIDS!
We would absolutely
LOVE IT
if you added your own funny poems in the comments.
Especially if you are
A CHILD
WITH A FUNNYBONE!
Fab illustrator of funny fiction!
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