My hair is too short,
I wanted it long.
My hair is too pointy,
it's turned out all wrong. 

Look, here's the place, Mum said,
Hair Cut 'N' Slash.
I'll be back in five minutes,
I really must dash!


So Mum went off shopping,
it's really unfair,
cos when she came back,
I had almost no hair...

Tangles and top knots,
Dare Gel and Flair Spray,
It's not looking good.
It's a horrible hair day!

Now, said the hairdresser,
What would suit YOU?
Oh, I know! Just the thing!
It's a really cool Do!

The terrible teeth
of the hairdresser's comb
pulled my hair - how it hurt -
I said: I'm going home.

Oh, don't be so whiny,
you wild hairy child.
See my scissors! So shiny!
the hairdresser smiled.

Tangles and top knots,
Dare Gel and Flair Spray,
it's not looking good.
It's a hazardous hair day!

My poor hair!

How she snipped it,
she curled it and clipped it,
she twisted and twirled it,
she furled it and whirled it.
She prodded and primped it,
creatively crimped it,
she washed it and scrubbed it,
conditioned and rubbed it.
She rinsed it and dried it,
with hot tongs she fried it,
then spritzed it with spray.

All done!  said the hairdresser.
Now, time to pay!

Well, I used to have hair
flowing down to my toes,
but now that's all gone.
Oh, I do hope it grows.

Mum said - Take your hat off.
I said - Are you mad?
Just look at my hair!
She said - Mmm, that is bad ...

I looked in the mirror
and I just had to say:

tangles and top knots,
Dare Gel and Flair Spray,
it's not looking good.
It's a ...
HAIR
SCARE
BEWARE
day!

Poem © 2013 Lesley Moss 
Image © 2013 Mike Brownlow

It’s time to get my hair cut,
I’m going with my dad,
For reasons which I’ll now explain,
it could end up all bad.
I style my hair all spiky,
To hide all of my curls,
But Dad says hair with products in, is only meant for girls.
He wants my hair cut shorter,
I want to keep it long.
A style on which we don’t agree is bound to turn out wrong.
I wonder if he’s jealous? 
Of my hair, thick and black,
For hair that once grew on his head, instead grows on his back.
Dad says, “I am not worried,
I’ve still got some up there.
It’s just when I was growing up, I grew right through my hair.”
Which can’t explain the hair that’s on
his bottom, ears, and nose.
There’s even weird and straggly hairs that sprout out from his toes!
Just now, I found this photo,
Of when Dad was my age,
His hair was lank and hippy, he says it was, "The rage."
A photo taken later,  
Shows dad wearing a wig,
Which looks just like a crazy bush. It’s wild, fuzzy and big.
Some people have bad hair days,
Hair trouble, and hair strife.
With Dad though, days are not enough. He’s in a bad hair life.
I told the nice hairdresser,
I want a cool hairdo,
And not one of my dad’s hair-don’ts, he doesn’t have a clue.
She made it look exciting,
Cut like a lion’s mane,
And best of all, in three months time, my dad won’t come again!

Text ©2013 Alex Craggs
Illustration ©2013 Mike Brownlow