Excited Welcome! Dom Conlon Joins the Funeverse!

Woo hoo! Dom Conlon is our latest recruit to the funeverse. We all agreed that he will make a fantastically funny addition to the team and can't wait to see what silliness he comes up with.  

Here are Dom's three winning poems.  We love a gruesome poem on the funeverse so Dom's witchy mum preparing her son for the pot is perfect.

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Good Enough To Eat

You’re at your best when you are young
His mother said to Pete.
I’ve looked at you since you were born
But now it’s time to eat.​

You always said that you prefer
To dine at half-past five
But I must say that for my part
I like you half-alive.

I’ve rubbed your cheeks with salt and spice
I’ve washed your nasal hair
So as I take my first big bite
Don’t think that I don’t care.

I’ll eat you up, my bonny boy
I’ll savour every bone.
I’ll reap the years you’ve had with me
Then live life on my own.

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Can A Moon Have A Moon?

Is there really such thing
as a moon with a moon,
or is it a thing
like a noon before noon?

And if a moon has a moon
then where does it end?
Does the moon of the moon
have a moon as a friend?

Then if each of these moons
should meet once a while,
would they smash into bits
or miss by a mile?

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Lord Lucifer Lathenby-Lay

Little Lord Lucifer Lathenby-Lay
Wore a top hat every third day.
On Monday he wore it to visit the Queen.
On Thursday he wore it just to be seen.
For Sunday’s outing, in rain shine or hail,
You’d see him in church (not once did he fail).
But what did he wear on the days he did not?
Why nothing at all, not a stitch, not a jot.

You can find out more about Dom here 

Poems © 2015 Dom Conlon
Image © 2015 Katherine Lynas