THE DAY MY MUM LEFT ME ALONE AT THE HAIRDRESSERS, by Lesley Moss

(I will never, no, not ever, have another haircut for the rest of my life. So don't even ask.)

Image © Mike Brownlow

My hair is too short,
I wanted it long.
My hair is too pointy,
it's turned out all wrong. 

Look, here's the place, Mum said,
Hair Cut 'N' Slash.
I'll be back in five minutes,
I really must dash!


So Mum went off shopping,
it's really unfair,
cos when she came back,
I had almost no hair...

Tangles and top knots,
Dare Gel and Flair Spray,
It's not looking good.
It's a horrible hair day!

Now, said the hairdresser,
What would suit YOU?
Oh, I know! Just the thing!
It's a really cool Do!

The terrible teeth
of the hairdresser's comb
pulled my hair - how it hurt -
I said: I'm going home.

Oh, don't be so whiny,
you wild hairy child.
See my scissors! So shiny!
the hairdresser smiled.

Tangles and top knots,
Dare Gel and Flair Spray,
it's not looking good.
It's a hazardous hair day!

My poor hair!

How she snipped it,
she curled it and clipped it,
she twisted and twirled it,
she furled it and whirled it.
She prodded and primped it,
creatively crimped it,
she washed it and scrubbed it,
conditioned and rubbed it.
She rinsed it and dried it,
with hot tongs she fried it,
then spritzed it with spray.

All done!  said the hairdresser.
Now, time to pay!

Well, I used to have hair
flowing down to my toes,
but now that's all gone.
Oh, I do hope it grows.

Mum said - Take your hat off.
I said - Are you mad?
Just look at my hair!
She said - Mmm, that is bad ...

I looked in the mirror
and I just had to say:

tangles and top knots,
Dare Gel and Flair Spray,
it's not looking good.
It's a ...
HAIR
SCARE
BEWARE
day!

Poem © 2013 Lesley Moss 
Image © 2013 Mike Brownlow

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