With a palm leaf strapped to each arm?
But I’d flop and I’d flap,
Before going slap
Causing birds to fly up in alarm.
Would you juggle with fire if I said you’d look cool
With the flames flying over your head?
But I’d quickly ignite
And light up the night
Leaving scorch marks wherever I tread
Would you go to the circus and wrestle with lions
If I hand you the whip and the chair?
BUT they’d roar and they’d rage
With me centre stage
And pull out great clumps of my hair.
Would you jump on the back of a charging white rhino
‘Cos I said it’s a great thing to do?
BUT I’d soon be unseated,
And left in rhinoceros poo.
Would you go head to head with a Japanese sumo
If I say he insulted your mum?
BUT I’d struggle and fight,
With all of my might
Then get stuck in crack of his bum.
Would YOU just for a moment shut up your great trap
And contain these preposterous ideas?
Well I would if I could,
But it’d do you no good,
‘Cos they’d just start to leak out my ears.
Image ©2012 Sam Zuppardi
Poem ©2012 George Kirk